This Is Your Night Aftermath

Well, it was a hell of a night! Some of my friends were unable to show up either due to illness or simply because they had made plans from yonks! Fair enough and I don't hold anyone to that because hello....they have a life! From those who did show up, it was a bit of a wild one to say the least.


Giant & Lanky both took the time in helping me get ready for the big night. I honestly can't remember a time when the three of us had had so many laughs before even leaving the house. For some reason, I think Giant & I had grown even closer and I saw a side of her that I hadn't seen in 17 years. Now....let's fast forward to the fun....


Giant, Lanky & I knew we were in for an awesome evening when we managed to find street parking next to the venue. Anyone who lives or goes to a city on a weekend, no matter what country you're from, knows the feeling and stress of finding street parking. *High five ladies*. We make our way in the club only to discover that the peroxide blonde and inflated douchebag had put the incorrect names on my guest list. Fortunately, anyone who had dropped my name that evening still managed to gain free entry. I had a better excuse to argue later when the same cow failed to post my name on a booth. So, being the Enforcer, I arranged to have the people in my booth relegated to another. Serves them right for taking my sign down. Nasty sewer rats I must admit. In between getting drunk, dancing, and poor Lanky getting sick, the party was pretty cool and was a hit. Little did I know that some unexpected drama was awaiting us outside.


As I mentioned, poor Lanky was sick and we needed to get her home because her condition was deteriorating. Now I'm not dramatising anything, but I was worried. Apparently, she'd experienced the same problem a few times. Having downed a ton of alcohol and and being in a frantic state, I tried making my way through the crowded side walk. When I tried going through a group that wasn't too co-operative, I lost the plot and went ballistic. One of the drunken pieces of white trash kept talking and said "F*ck you". I could've kept walking and kept my loud mouth shut, but I just hit back and said, "I'm not that desperate and I prefer men." Well, the drunken trailer trash in the blue skimpy dress followed me to the car with two of her drunken trashy excuses for sluts. The trashy blonde in the red dress approached me and asked if I'd called her a slut and if I had a problem with her. I eyed her from head to toe and said, "If I had a problem with you sweet heart, you would be on the ground. Take your butt and your drunk cronies and keep walking." Poor Giant almost got out of the car, but they kept walking after they saw the size of the three of us.


On the way home, I did cop a bit of a lecture from Giant, but I thoroughly deserved it. I'd put her, Lanky and myself at risk and if things had progressed, a classic catfight would have ensued and all of us would have wound up in the slammer. Not so wise on my part. Giant reassured me that she wasn't mad at me, but that she hated drama. I thought I'd really messed things up. I apologised profusely and she kept telling me that it was fine.


A few days later, I was sure that everything was fine after texting back and forth. Phew....lesson learned. Dramas aside, the night was awesome and it's definitely one that was worth blogging.

This Is Your Night

Some of you may be wondering why I've titled this post "This Is Your Night". Well, the title is for a song from 1997 for an artist called Amber. Anyone who's seen "A Night At The Roxbury" will know what I'm on about. The reason for this is that I'm going out tonight with my closest friends Nomad, Mr Red, Giant, & Lanky for some overdue celebrating. We're actually going to drown our sorrows (if we have any) and drink and dance the night away.


Giant suggested this night as a means of celebrating my birthday (not saying when it is and how old I am), and to end the year on a high. I couldn't agree with her more given the rollercoaster year we've both had. A few old friends will be joining us and I'm sure we're going to have a wonderful time. I just thought I'd blog about it because I'm really looking forward to it, and everyone can relax...well sort of... you get the picture?


Let's get our hair done, pollute our faces with make up, and look as trashy, I mean presentable as possible.

Starstruck II

As you may have read in my previous post "Starstruck", I was excited about meeting a popular Australian athlete, Speedster, at a book signing. Last week, I was fortunate enough to meet, chat, and have my book signed by one of Australia's leading sportsmen. 

I anxiously waited my turn with one of my colleagues as people proceeded to meet Speedster. I honestly felt as though my legs would let me down and I would collapse because I was trembling quite badly. Don't get any ideas because I've met celebrities before, but Speedster was at the top of my list of athletes to meet. 

My turn finally came and I nervously approached the table. Speedster's first words were: "Hello, girls, how are you both doing today?" I was in heaven - someone please pinch me. I stared back like an imbecile and took in the blonde hair and dark eyes. All I could think was "Damn he's so fine".  Get a grip, Enforcer, he's just as human as everyone else that calls this lovely planet Home. 

My friend and I spent about five minutes chatting with Speedster and taking photos with him. I even mentioned sending him a message on a social network site. I'll never forget the moment he looked up and said, "I know, I read it." At first, I thought he was just saying that, but he won me over when he described my profile and photo. Yep, I was absolutely gobsmacked. Here was a man who probably has a quintillion fans and friends, yet he took the time to read a simple message from an average Jane namely me. It was a truly humbling experience and I was quite flattered by his loyalty to his fans.

At the end of the brief encounter, I was able to take away a photo, an autographed book, and a conversation that I will remember for many years to come.

Something to Look Forward to

If you've been reading my posts, you'll know that I've recently been successful in obtaining a new role within the company I currently work. Well, I'm down to my last 4 business days, and I'm starting to get a bit anxious. I'm very much looking forward to what lies ahead, but I'm going to miss everyone I've had the privilege to work with over the past few years.


My last day is this Friday, and to go out with a bang, I've got my farewell drinks with all the people who mean a great deal to me. I'm going to miss Nomad's honesty and quirky stories, Mr Red's random bitching, and so much more. I know that I'm going to make some new friends and build some new professional relationships in my new role (oh did I mention it was at another branch?), but there are so many people I don't want to leave behind. Friday will undoubtedly be quite emotional, but I suppose if I want to move forward and build up on my success, I need to let go of certain things and certain people.


Moving from one branch to another will benefit me greatly. I won't have to dread running into Clyde every morning. Maybe that's the best thing about the move - being able to finally let go of the one person that kept me in the big city. As much as I'd hate to admit this, I was clinging onto a bit of hope for quite some time and refused to move forward, I refused to let go, and above all, I refused to forgive and forget. Now's definitely the time to do all of that. If he texts and asks to meet up for lunch or drinks after work, I can finally tell him he's on his own.


So long Clyde, and hello to a new beginning......

Starstruck

As mentioned in a previous post, I recently purchased an autobiography for Australian cricket sensation Brett Lee. Now, I'm not expecting everyone to know who he is particularly if you're not a cricket fan. To put it simply, Brett Lee is similar to the David Beckham of cricket. The only difference is Beckham is overrated and Lee has been awarded for his success. Anyway, Brett is scheduled to attend a local book store near work tomorrow and I'm going down there with one of my colleagues who, unsurprisingly, is also a Brett Lee fan.


Now, I don't want anyone to think I'm a crazed fan or that I haven't met any celebrities before. On the contrary, I've met quite a few, but Binga has been on my list of celebrities to meet ever since I was a teenager. Hopefully, after tomorrow, I can walk away with a photo, a signed book, and a memory I'll treasure for the rest of my life. Oh, and I'll be able to cross his name off my bucket list, too. You can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be blogging about him again tomorrow.


Binga, here I come! :D

Overboard

Today at lunch time, I did something I haven't done in quite some time - gone on a spree. I'm not talking about a girl's usual clothes spree. No, I went on a book spree.


When the clock struck 12, Mr Red & I walked down to the local book store in search of an autobiography for Australian cricket star Brett Lee. Frankly, that book was the only reason I was going down there because I wanted to get it before his book signing tomorrow. After finding the book, yours truly didn't even head in the direction of the nearest counter. Instead, I asked one of the book store employees for some recommendations for classics and literature. After the first book came another, then another, an another, and I eventually walked out with nine books and left $160.80 poorer.


It's not that I don't have enough books at home because somewhere in my room lies 24 unread novels. Even I must admit that I'm such a genius. As a means of motivation to finish those books, I'm going to endeavour to finish a book a week (provide nothing and no one interrupts me), and write my own critique and recommendations. I've always wanted to be a member of a book club, so I might as well start my own as the sole member.


My first book will be Mary Stewart's 'This Rough Magic'. It's meant to be a mystery novel. Well, here I go......

Giant's Birthday: The Aftermath

If you go back to my post yesterday, I mentioned that Crystal Blue's behaviour towards Giant's ex, Mechanic, could lead to some tension. Well, believe it or not, it did.


Giant texted me a couple of days later wondering if I'd noticed Crystal Blue's demeanour and undivided attention to Mechanic. I was a bit hesitant at first, but I had to be honest with Giant because our friendship goes back 17 years! I explained that I'd been keeping an eye on CB all night and that I didn't approve of her behaviour, and that I didn't want to say anything because the last thing I'd wanted was to stir problems between my two closest friends. Giant went ahead and vented for about two hours.We even exchanged emails while at work.


As much as it cut me up that Giant was hurting, I couldn't get involved and kept telling Giant that it was all probably blown out of proportion. Maybe Crystal Blue was trying to mediate between Giant & Mechanic and help bring them back together. Giant was unconvinced, but deep down knew that Crystal Blue wouldn't run after her best friend's ex flame. This had all taken its toll on Giant and she failed to sit for her university exam. I don't ever recall seeing her so depressed, hurt, and confused.


Fast forward 2 weeks, Giant sends me another email at work telling me that she'd spoken with Mechanic. He had admitted that CB constantly messaged him and called him especially after speaking with Giant about him. All the secrets and conversations had been exposed. This was definitely the turning point in Giant & CB's friendship, and there were definitely trust issues now. As much as I tried calming Giant down, it didn't work. 


Giant, Lanky & I met up later that week for lunch and a much needed vent session. I had to clarify to both where I stood and how I refused to come between two friends. Giant was more than understanding and knew that everything would blow over in due course.


 We'd agreed to go down for CB's birthday in February and act as if nothing had happened. Something tells me though that things will escalate further then. Let's hope, for once, my instincts are wrong and that we'll have a trouble-free weekend...unlikely perhaps?

The Diagnosis

As mentioned in "A New Beginning", I was hoping my haematologist would give me some good news regarding my biopsy. Well, let's just say I was a bit over-zealous and I never got that good news. In fact, all I got out of the doctor's visit was pretty much what I've been getting for the past few months - nothing.


I settled into the doctor's office just after 5pm and quietly prayed for some positive news. All he had to offer was a diagnosis that neither of us found convincing or conclusive. I've been diagnosed with sideroblastic anaemia, a disease which also led to me sister's death almost three years ago. Thankfully, though, the sideroblastic cells have only just surfaced in my bone marrow, meaning the disease is at its early stages. Still, in the past, and most recently, I've responded to Erythropoitein (EPO) injections. If I indeed had sideroblastic anaemia, I wouldn't respond at all. Therefore, both myself and my doctor believe that I might not have it.


After almost half an hour with the haematologist, he has ordered some more tests including heavy metal poisoning (copper, zinc, lead etc.). Regardless of the results, he's referring me to a neurologist for a second opinion, meaning I'm going to go on for the next few weeks without any answers regarding my condition. I'm still optimistic and believe that if I do indeed have sideroblastic anaemia, then it's not as severe as my sister's. Hopefully, the tests will give me some answers and my condition is treatable.


To be continued.....

Giant's Birthday Part II

As per one of my previous posts, I proudly shared that I'd be going to my best friend's birthday party in the city and that Nomad & Mr Red were due to come, too. One of my closest friends was also going to come up from Melbourne. I'm going to call her Crystal Blue (no her name isn't Crystal and isn't even close to it). 


Now, yours truly was so excited that I was already dressed by 5PM. I was scheduled to drive to Giant's house and if all went to plan, we should all be in the city by 7:30 the latest. Well, IF was the operative word here, and as you can guess, nothing went according to plan. By the time I'd reached Giant's house, the only thing that was ready was Giant's hair. Everything went downhill from there. 


Crystal Blue & her sister needed to get their hair & make up done and asked none other than Giant and Lanky (Giant's sister) to do it for them. By the time they were all done, it was 8:45. 8:45 and we were still nowhere near the damn city. My blood was slowly boiling, and was perhaps on the verge of evaporating. Little did I know that poor Giant & Lanky were really upset too. Looks like the three of us are really good at hiding certain feelings. We didn't even leave the house until 9:00 and Mr Red & Nomad had both called and said they were outside the club. I had to buy us some time and told them both that we'd be there soon. Ten minutes later, both decided to bail, and quite honestly, I couldn't blame them. I'd specifically told them we'd be there like two hours earlier. I wasn't sure who to blame - Crystal Blue or Giant....the odds were against Crystal Blue at this point.


We finally reached the city by 9:30 and after finding some parking (thanks to Lanky's great eye), we were at the club by 10:10. We were waiting outside and getting ready to flash our ID to the bouncers when Giant's brother Giraffe approached us and said they wouldn't let him in the club. The fact the poor guy's name somehow didn't make the guest list didn't do him any favours either. Giant calmed him down and told him that once we were all in, she'd come back out and speak with the bouncers. As soon as we got in, the two fake bitches at the front desk informed us that the guest list closes at 10 and we were all up for a $20 fee. Fecking great we all thought. Not wanting to delay our celebrations further or let two bitches and fecked up bouncers ruin the night for us, we paid and didn't even argue. It took Giant & I another 30 minutes to convince the bouncers to let Giraffe in. The short bald maggot said: "I don't care how how you girls are, you're not bringing him in here, so don't cause a scene". All I remember saying was "If he isn't let in, you won't have a scene, you'll have a musical." That line, thankfully, worked.

Now, everyone was inside and drinks were going round in our private booth. Alcohol is definitely my best friend. Giant's ex boyfriend, Mechanic, was present and like any other guy, he was out there flirting and socialising. The one thing I'd noticed was that Crystal Blue was following him around. Both Giant & I were keeping a close eye on them both, and from what we both saw, Crystal Blue was the predator. I can honestly say that I'd never seen any guy look as comfortable as Mechanic had looked that night. The last thing any guy needs is his ex girlfriend's best friend trying to play follow the leader especially when the ex is around. It was at this point that I slowly began to lose it, but I had to keep it all in so that Giant's big night wasn't entirely ruined.


Fast forward to 2am, and after the bouncers had escorted everyone outside after closing time, Mechanic recommended going to one of the city's famous areas, The Cross. We all headed to our cars and Crystal Blue, who knows that I get car sick if I sit at the back, wanted to sit at the front because her "feet were killing" her. I told her it was fine, but Giant shot her a look that could literally kill. I got over it pretty quickly, and I think she should thank her lucky stars because I didn't get sick. Maybe it was because I didn't want to puke all over Giant's back seat after she'd had her car detailed. 


After a long and confusing evening, we all made it back to Giant's place in on e piece and crashed at 5am. Ah, it was awesome. Crystal Blue and her sister both left the following day on their scheduled flight at about 6pm. For the first time in 10 years, I was relieved to see the back of Crystal Blue because she'd crossed so many lines and in so many ways. Somehow, I knew that what had transpired that evening would cause a bit of tension between Crystal Blue and Giant. What I also knew was that I would be the unfortunate sap who's caught in the middle....


To be continued........

A New Beginning

They say "Bad things always come in threes." In my case, they always come in the dozens. However, I've always believed that with the "three bad things" always comes "three good things." Recently, that's exactly what's happened to me.


A couple of weeks ago, I had two minor medical procedures: a laparoscopy and a bone marrow biopsy. Both procedures were a success, and just as I was settling back into work, one of the doctors called and asked me to come into the cancer unit at the hospital because he'd forgotten to draw some blood. What a muppet, I thought. So, I didn't really have much of a choice. I left work early, went for the blood test, and went home in a daze.


Around the same time, I was refinancing my home loan. My sister in law is my broker and financial advisor. After reviewing the paper work, we both concluded that I had at least a $2,500 surplus in my account on my previous home loan. After the new loan application had gone through and the home valuation had come through, the bank gave me a call to advise that I had a $1413.90 shortfall. Unbelievable! My old bank took the surplus cash and said it was for "fees". Fees my eye! So, yours truly then raced down to the bank which is in the same building at work, withdrew the cash, and deposited it in an account. A few days later, the bank sent through the paperwork confirming that the deal had been finalised and my repayments could commence within the following fortnight. PHEW!


During the same week of my laparoscopy, I applied for a new role at work. If I were the successful applicant, I would be transferred to another branch which is closer to home but for only 12 months. I submitted my application on a Friday, and would you believe it - I was called on Monday for an interview. As Monday was my day off (thanks to jury duty), I agreed for an interview on Wednesday. All dolled up and ready for action, the interview took approximately 45 minutes. I can honestly say, I've never walked out of an interview with such confidence. Deep down, I knew I'd nailed it, and that the job was mine. But, you guessed it, I got an email at the beginning of the following week telling me that the recruitment was on hold until further queries had been clarified. This was the last thing I needed given all the stress I'd been under regarding the biopsy and the home loan. Only last Friday I received a call from the manager of the team I'd applied for and you guessed it - I got the role! YAY! The good news didn't stop there though. The delay in the recruitment was due to my future boss wishing to make the role permanent and it's now official. That was well worth the wait and stress, I must admit.


So, over the past few weeks, I'd been hit with three obstacles and overcome two of them within a couple of weeks. I only have the results of the biopsy and laparoscopy which I should find out tomorrow. Given the odds, I'm pretty sure I'll feel good about the outcome and my stress levels can further decrease. Fingers crossed.

Giant's Birthday!!!!

I'm so excited about my best friend Giant's birthday this Saturday. This will be the first time in two years that I'll actually be around to celebrate with her. I haven't picked her present out yet, but it'll be something special. I've asked my friends Nomad & Mr Red to come too! It's going to be a blast!

The Spat

I've always cherished my relationships with the people in my life. My previous post about friendship was a little insight about my friends and how I feel about them. I also posted about my dreadful relatives. Well, now, I'm going to combine both posts together.........


My cousin, Noise Pollution, is going out with a friend of mine - let's call her Sandpaper. Yes, she's that rough! I've always been very supportive of their relationship and have always thought that they're well suited. In a previous post, I mentioned how Noise Pollution & other relatives tend to talk sh!t and act high and mighty towards everyone. The latest "sh!t talking" occurred only a few nights ago.


Sandpaper and Noise Pollution were teasing my sister and antagonising me, too. Unbeknownst to my sister, the dirt hit the fan. Actually, my sister didn't know they were even teasing her, but I caught on as soon as a comment on a popular social network surfaced. I immediately defended my sister and before I knew it, I was being verbally attacked by two people who my sister was always close to. I thought to myself that it's inappropriate to discuss such issues publicly, so I called Sandpaper who, unsurprisingly, was with Noise Pollution.


What started as a quiet and mature adult conversation quickly transformed into an ugly spat. In fact, plenty of monosyllabic words were used, and I don't ever recall saying so many at a time. The girl my sister and I had both considered a close friend had turned on us, and although I'd love to blame Noise Pollution and his ruddy influence, it's not his fault. Like I said earlier, they're a perfect match. She'd always had it in her, so I'm relieved that I found this out personally and not from someone else.


After all was said & done, I told Sandpaper to lose my number and not even think about stepping a foot in my house. She's been cut out of my life like half of my relatives. The only problem I have is that I'm going to see her at a function in a few weeks time. I'm sure I'll write about that when it happens, and I'm sure it'll be an interesting meeting between us. I haven't told my parents or sister yet, but they're pretty bright and will notice it in no time at all.


Bring on the fun & games in three weeks........

Uphill Battle

Everyone has obstacles to overcome in life. Some people face the same challenge more than once and yours truly is no different. 

Four years ago, while visiting my family overseas, I complained of fatigue, dizzy spells and lack of appetite. Naturally, I went to my family's local doctor and had some blood tests. The doctor seemed confident that it was merely "stress". The blood test results didn't point to that. In fact, I had severe anaemia with a blood count of 60. Oddly enough, my iron was normal and it got me thinking: Am I even normal? Apparently not. My doctor immediately referred me to a haematologist who requested an urgent bone marrow biopsy. Some holiday this was turning out to be.

On the day of the biopsy, I remember being a nervous wreck, but I still managed to stay strong for my mother. My haematologist only asked me to unbutton my blouse as he was going to use a local anaesthetic on my chest. During the entire 15 minute procedure, I kept my eyes shut. I remember asking my sister, who had had at least 10 of these tests done, how painful it was. On her pain scale (which was quite high), it was a 7. Fanbloodytastic I thought. The only cool thing about the biopsy was hearing the needle penetrate the bone - wicked! The only pain I felt was the bone marrow being extracted (1cc in fact). It was indeed a 7 on the pain scale.

The results came back a few weeks later and I was diagnosed with refractory anaemia. In plain English, it means I had irregular red blood cell development which results in those cells dying prematurely. This ultimately leads to leukemia, but that won't take place until 10-15 years after the initial diagnosis. My haematologist recommended injections which would boost my haemoglobin level. These injections were known as Eprex, or as known here in Australia,Erythropoietin (EPO). This is a banned substance for athletes and I thought: "Awesome. Now I have something in common with Lance Armstrong". Four injections were prescribed, and in no time, I was back to my old self.

Fast track four years. I'm in the best physical shape possible, I've got a new position at work, and I have a great boyfriend. Well, that didn't last too long. The boyfriend's gone, and my physical well being is not as well as it used to be. The same symptoms I had four years ago while on holiday were starting to resurface. Immediately, I knew I had an issue. Other health problems arose as well, but I'm not going into further detail because I don't want to gross anyone out. The signs were there and all I needed to do was see my local GP. 

My blood tests revealed a low level of haemoglobin of 81. Not as low as last time, but still well below average. I tried talking my GP into prescribing my injections in order to avoid visiting another haematologist. Of course, that didn't work at all. I was also banned from food and products containing sulfur. My GP suspected that this could be a root factor for the anaemia. Personally, I didn't think so. Eventually, I relented and agreed to a referral to a local haematologist. 

Do I think this haematologist knows what he's on about? Hell no! All I've had done with him is the basics - blood tests, family history, medical history, etc.... Five weeks and $750 later, we've booked a bone marrow biopsy. Although I believe there will be a positive outcome, I'm still frightened. My fear is related to the pain more than anything and I won't be under the effect of anaethesia this time. Damn it. What's even more concerning is that my haematologist believes that there is no treatment for refractory anaemia. Who is he kidding? Is he trying to convince me that doctors in a Middle Eastern country are more advanced than doctors in Australia? You cannot be serious!

Regardless, I'm going ahead with the biopsy, but I'm sure as hell not sticking with this useless haematologist. As soon as my results are available, I'm going to get a second opinion. At the end of the day, I'm going to beat this and I'm going to ensure it's permanent - even if it means getting fortnightly EPO injections. I have my fingers crossed and I'm forever grateful to friends like Nomad, Persian Princess, and my bosses at work for their support. I will definitely blog further about refractory anaemia in the near future to raise awareness.

Friends

The greatest things in life come for free - family & friends. I believe that I'm truly blessed to have the greatest family and most supportive friends anyone could wish for.

My best friend has to be my friend from elementary school - I previously referred to her as The Giant in another post. She, without a doubt, is indispensable. When I had my scoliosis operation (there will be several posts dedicated to scoliosis), she would wait for me to carry my bag and books for me. I never recall her complaining about it to anyone and she would joke about how one of these days, I'd return the favour. Sixteen years later, our friendship is still as solid as ever. We've done everything together from going on holidays to going ballistic at a Bon Jovi concert. I will never forget her high - fiving everyone when he started singing Living On A Prayer. She casually rings up and says :"I'm starving, so I'm coming over to your end of town for some sushi". My "end of town" is about half an hour away. She does this every few weeks. I'm telling you, she's a nut, but I love her to bits. Bring on October because we both have a busy month!!

Next on my list would be Bass-man. He's someone I've known for about five or six years and he's truly amazing. This guy seriously has the IT factor. He has looks, talent, personality, modesty, humour and lots more. In a lot of girls' eyes, he's perfect. If I didn't love him like my own brother, then hell, I'd go for him, but it's a bit awkward haha. Since I've known him, Bass-man has given me advice on everything ranging from family, friends, guys, relationships, work - everything! If I've ever needed to vent, he's the person I turn to. He also says the most random things at the right moment. The Bass-man is unique and as long as we're friends, I'll always need him. 

Persian Princess is someone who can relate to everything I've been through these last couple of years. We've both had our health scares, lost people we cherish, and had interesting relationships. I wrote about Persian Princess in my blog "The Case of the Ex". She's the friend Clyde caused problems with. Just to touch on that, when we weren't speaking, she decided to approach me and recommended burying the hatchet. I think that pretty much sums up just how good a person she truly is. We text almost every day and have pledged to meet up at least once a month. I truly wish, from the bottom of my heart, that Persian Princess is blessed with the one thing she wants. Fingers crossed for her.

Scorpio is a unique thirty something year old I've known roughly as long as Bass-man. Ironically, they're both Scorpios - I know the irony eh? Scorpio has had a fair few bummed relationships, career changes, and interesting holidays. He lives inter-state, but I wish he was closer. We have a lot in common, mainly our love for zodiac signs. I think the shortest conversation we've ever had over the phone  is about and hour and a half. Like Bass-man, Scorpio's given me lots of advice, but it's usually about my love life. He can name every guy I've mentioned to him, dated, fought with, loved, or just perved at. Presently, in terms of love, I'm at a crossroads, and he's managed to find his dream woman - in Poland! He's brought her over and I've heard nothing but amazing stories about her ever since his return. I couldn't be happier for him.

Mr Red is someone I work with at work. No, he doesn't have red hair. Red just happens to be the colour of his cigarette packet. I've known him a little over a year and we've shared lots of stories and problems. He actually warned me about my relationship with Clyde. We were all out for drinks and I spoke with Mr Red and asked him :"What do you think about Clyde?" His answer was : " I'll let you know on Monday". When we finally spoke on Monday, he said "Enforcer, you need to forget about this guy. He's selfish, and he's a player. Trust me on this one". Being the stubborn arse I am, I didn't listen. The great thing, though, is that he never said "I told you so" and he's always supported me. Mr Red loves my mum's cooking and can't stop asking for it - he's even offered to pay her! God love him, but I could never do that to him. Instead, he gets his goodies for free.

Nomad is also someone from work that I'm getting to know. She's unique, well spoken, patient, and above all, beautiful inside and out. We haven't known each other long, but she's definitely left a lasting impression on me. I'm surprised she hasn't told me to piss off yet because I'm one of the noisiest people you can work with. She recommended blogging to release my negative energy and to express myself. I think it's slowly working and her idea, as always, was brilliant. Nomad and I are both ex teachers, have a love for the road, and get along like a house on fire. Since I've been sick, she's always reminded me to take my medicine and urged me to see a doctor when she believes it's urgent. In return, I'm feeding her lots of chips and chocolate. Hey, it's all from love and I'm eating the stuff, too. We understand each other and she knows that whenever I get on her nerves, all she has to do is tell me. She knows when I need a hug, when I need to vent, or just need a walk. Thank you, Nomad! xo.

Hopefully, wherever life takes me, I'll be able to make friends as great as the ones in this blog. They're incredibly special and unique for different reasons. Love you all.

The Relatives

Who doesn't have stories to tell about their extended family? Having lived in a few places, you come across some of the weirdest crap in the form of cousins. My parents brought me and my siblings up with one word and attitude in mind regarding relatives - respect. Unfortunately, they don't share the same sentiments for us. I don't know why, but I've always felt closer to my father's side of the family. We've always dreaded family visits to mum's side of the family especially me.
Here's a little insight for you. I was raised in a small town on the South Coast called Woonona and the closest relatives we had to us were my dad's. My dad's sister, brother, niece, nephews and their respective families were all we had. On the other hand, my mum's sister and brother lived in Sydney. Every Friday night, my dad's brother would come over with his family for dinner, laughs, and football. We would pay them a visit every Saturday for the same reason. It was great and I always looked forward to it. Mum's siblings, in contrast, would only make an effort once a month or once every few months. To be fair, though, my mum's sister would call each night and come over at least once a month. Regardless, we never bonded with mum's side of the family, and let's face it, we never will. My aunt always has something wrong with her and my uncle has major domestic issues with his wife. Their kids weren't half bad - well, some of them at least. Whenever we had to make the 90 minute trip to Sydney, we'd all cringe and start making excuses to mum and dad, but to no avail. 
Twenty odd years, family losses and tragedies later, things have changed quite dramatically. My parents have been back home for just over two and a half years, and it saddens me to have to say this, most of my relatives have let them down when it matters most. My sister passed away in January 2009 and we were surrounded by hundreds of people. This was the only time I had seen ALL my relatives in one place at the same time. No, actually, I lied. There was one other time and that was earlier this year when my grandfather died. That's it. Two deaths brought us together. So, could someone explain to me where the hell everyone else is when our immediate family isn't carking it? Let the stories begin (bear in mind, these stories aren't from my childhood - they're a few years old).
My mum's nephew - let's call him The Wizard -  has always been a maths wiz. Therefore, when The Wizard decided to study mechanical engineering at uni, it wasn't a big surprise. His brother, The Braggart, opted to study accounting in order to teach at local schools and universities. Their youngest sibling, The Brat, also wanted to become a teacher. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm proud to say we have some unique talent in the family, but I'm not too thrilled about the way they treat others, particularly my family. 
There was one particular moment that stands out mainly because I was the target. A couple of years ago, I had an accident and my dad's car got written off. Months later, the extended family was gathered at my Uncle's for lunch. Braggart decided to try humiliating me by calling me a lame driver who couldn't get 200m past her own home. Pretty much everyone who was there laughed, but I didn't keep quiet. My cousin is known for his insurance jobs and writing off his cars for the sake of buying new ones. I pointed out that I worked for one of the sister companies of his car insurance and said I had access to his accidents if I wanted. Then, I boldly said " No matter how many cars I've written off, I'll never catch up to you." That was the last time he or anyone else mentioned the accident. Touché.
As for my mum's nephews on her brother's side, well two of them are absolute stand outs - in other words, dickheads. I'll call one Pussyman (his wife wears the pants) and the other one Noise Pollution. Pussyman is a painter and he was called by my brother a few weeks before my nephew's christening to do a touch up job on the house. I can look past the fact he's a lazy git who spends more time on the phone than with a paint brush in his hand, but I can't get over how big his mouth is. He would speak to my brother and sister in law openly and rudely about my sister. I'm not sure what his problem is with my sister or her family because they've always texted regularly and shared secrets when they were younger. His main point of conversation always centred around her four children. In his opinion, they were spoilt. My nieces and nephews are not angels, but they're definitely not spoilt. My sister knows when to say yes and when to say no. He, on the other hand, has three kids - 2 girls and a boy. I'm not one to call kids names or hold them responsible for their antics, but his kids take the prize for spoilt little runts. They're always asking for more clothes, food, trips to the movies, and a hell of a lot more. Pussyman and his wife take them at least 4 times a week to the movies. So, um, who the hell are you calling my sister's kids spoilt? Arabs are the biggest hypocrites, and we always criticise others for mistakes we have made.
As for Noise Pollution, well, where do I start with him? This guy reminds me of Clyde - an insecure player who thinks he's king shit. Remember how I mentioned that my uncle has major domestics? Well, I happen to think those issues have somehow affected Noise Pollution. He dated a certain girl for over 5 years and everyone had their reservations because she was much younger than him. At the end of the day, they broke up and Noise Pollution's excuse was : "Bro, she was too young." It took you five years to figure that out? Shucks. He's now going out with someone I considered a close friend at one stage, but that all went down the drain. I won't bother going into that because I know for a fact that her change in demeanour has been affected by him. 
The Wizard, Braggart, Pussyman & Noise Pollution were made for each other. Pussyman and Noise Pollution are always over at Wizard & Braggart's house. It's amazing how my parents' home is closer, yet the pigs don't even bother calling in on their aunt. Whenever there's a family function, such as Pussyman's son's christening, every Tom, Dick & Harry is invited - everyone except my mum. I simply don't understand. We've always made an effort for mum to bond with the cousins, but they've always distanced themselves from us. We weren't on their "exclusive" list for New Year's Eve and we certainly weren't invited to their nights out at the casino. The Brat wanted to go to Europe and asked me to go so that my aunt would let her go. This went on for months and when my aunt relented and said : "You can go with your friend", I was out of the picture. It's amazing how they all think.
I'm not bitter, pissed, or spiteful. In fact, I'm actually quite baffled. What have any of us done to them to deserve their treatment? Seriously, I can count on one hand how many times my "awesome" cousins have come over our place. Whenever they do, Braggart is always asking how much I paid for certain appliances and subscriptions. Mate, you have a phone and Internet connection, why don't you get off your baboon arse and ask around? I even get asked about my wages! What the hell is it to you? Your brother makes twice as much as I do. Just because you and your sister are stuck in retail because you can't be stuffed finding jobs, it doesn't give you the right to pry into my business. While you idiots are partying and spending your earnings freely because you live under mummy and daddy's roof, my siblings and I are working our butts off trying to make ends meet and pay off our mortgages. 
In a nutshell, I don't hate my relatives, but I don't particularly like them. I think they're nosy, arrogant, and above all, snotty. My siblings and I couldn't give two tosses about their opinions or anything they do. I'm quite relieved that I don't have to socialise with them, but it breaks my heart because my mum doesn't see too much of them. She says she doesn't care, but knowing my mum, she does. The only thing I can do is encourage her to see her brother and sister as often as possible. Quite frankly, she sees my dad's brother more than she sees her own. At least my dad's brother calls every few days to check in on us whereas mum's brother only calls when someone's kicked the bucket. 
Who needs family, eh?

The Case of the Ex

I think it's time I got a bit more personal with my posts. I've written a fair bit in only two blogs. If you may recall, I mentioned in my first post a certain ex who called me an "angry child". Well, this Angry Child thinks it's high time she vents and tells her side of the story.
Let's call this ex Clyde. Not very creative, I know, but there's a story behind that, too. I won't get into it now. Anyway, Clyde and I first met, albeit briefly, in 2009 through a guy I was seeing. How about we call him Philo? To be honest, I wouldn't even classify Philo as someone I was seeing because we were only getting to know each other. When we met, it was only for a two minute walk to the local station. His name didn't stick in my head back then, but little did I know, that it would some time later.
Fast forward to mid 2010. I was about to move to a new team at work and as it was a long weekend, I decided to go out with some mates from work for some drinks. I sent Philo a text and he showed up with Clyde. This is the turning point for all three of us. From the moment Clyde sat down, he started flirting and messing around. It wasn't until later that night that he had told me that he was engaged. Uh-oh was my first thought. That should have been a sign for things to come, but being the dumb idiot I tend to be, I ignored it. We went our separate ways that night and only exchanged work emails.
Philo went on holidays about a month after that and for Clyde to pass time at work, he'd email me. Emails went back and forth for weeks. About a month later, he tells me that he and his fiancee had broken up. Frankly, I wasn't expecting it, and I knew for a fact that he'd been sick of constantly looking after her. I didn't know what to say or how to react because he didn't say much - only that he was really upset and needed time to work things out.
A few months down the track, and fresh from my trip overseas, I get a lunch invitation from Clyde for a catch up. Until this point, we hadn't exchanged numbers. We met up a few days later and had lunch - nothing fancy and nothing really special was said or done. Only difference was we actually exchanged numbers and started texting from that moment onwards.
I had a work function not long after our lunch rendez-vous and before it started, everyone had opted to meet up for drinks. Once again, Clyde & Philo were invited and came along. That night, a fair few people met them and Clyde was caught checking out one of my married friends. Big mistake, but I didn't say anything. At about midnight, I got a text from him telling me she was hot and what not. I scolded him because she's married and I don't like people talking about my friends that way. My poor friend was in the cab with me when the text from him hit my phone, and I was rendered speechless. My friend ended up speaking with Philo and spilled her guts to him about it. The next day, yours truly gets an email at work from Clyde telling me off for blabbing about the text to Philo. I tried explaining everything to him and he got the dirts. Well, excuse me, Mr Hotshot, I didn't realise someone had hurt your feelings for telling the truth. Thanks to him, my friend and I didn't speak to each other for over 7 weeks. We both moved on from that fiasco, but it's not the point. This was again another sign that I missed.
After my issues with my friend, Clyde & I were texting on a daily basis at least 50-80 times a day. Yeah, I know...WOW! Clyde had ended his rebound relationship weeks earlier and things were going pretty well between us. In fact, I think you can say things were progressing quite rapidly. A few weeks later, Clyde, Philo & I went out for lunch for my birthday. It was an awesome time, and I think, at this point, Philo was starting to feel like an outcast. I can't blame him, but these things do happen. I certainly didn't intend for that to happen.
Just before Christmas, Clyde came clean and admitted that he liked me. I didn't really read too much into it because I wasn't certain how I felt about him myself. He asked me out the first time, but I declined his invitation and made up some bollocks excuse. He didn't ask me again until after New Year. This time, I had no excuse to say no and I felt I was ready to take the next step and see what this guy was like.
Let's skip the dates, dinners, texts, and drinks and just move onto March where things had taken an ugly turn. I had bought a special birthday present for him - something he admitted to have wanted for years. The gift arrived well after his birthday, but at least it made it. For some reason, I had a horrible gut feeling - the same gut feeling I had when my ex of 6 years was cheating on me. I knew for a fact that there was someone else, but I didn't feel the need to confront him. Let's not beat around the bush and just say things were over after that.
We didn't speak for a while after that, but about 2 months later, after things had cooled off between us, I get a random text from Clyde asking how I am. Erm, like you give a toss, pal. Nevertheless, I still replied and said I was doing fine. I have always backed away from everyone when things go bad. I don't text or email anyone when a relationship derails, and this wasn't any different. The only time I'd speak with Clyde is when he would text me. I know better than to trust the same person after screwed over.
Months later, the texts have become more regular and the excuses to send them even lamer. I don't even know why he still texts. He ended it, he wasn't ready and gave me the shit excuse of " I was engaged to be married". Well, BFD, so was I and I didn't give you that. What a cop out.
He checks in on me about 9 weeks ago, and one of my mates from work grabs a hold of my phone and tells him he's my boyfriend. I have to admire the man's courage, but it won't make much of a difference. Clyde fesses to seeing a new chick, but he's bored with her. Surprise, surprise. Been there and done that.
Just last night, he texts me telling me he's bored and on the way home. When I asked how I could help him, all he could say was: "well hahaha". I'm going to quote John McEnroe here because my first thought was " You cannot be serious!" Apparently, the "girl" he is seeing is on holidays. The picture was becoming clearer and it something had hit me right on the head. This is exactly what happened when we were together. I don't know if this guy is stupid, or just horny 24/7, but he gave his game away. When I pieced together all the signs along the way, it all made sense - this guy's a massive player. He's probably one of the best I've come across, but as my best friend always says, I only see the good qualities in people.
Regardless, Clyde's chapter in my life is over and I'm only going to speak to him when he makes the first move. My friend at work asked me why I keep in touch with him. Well, it's not that simple, but I don't have a reason to hate him. I don't have a reason to love him or like him. Actually, I feel sorry for him. He's someone who can't seem to find any stability in his life. I, on the other hand, have had a stable upbringing and always given everything I do 110%. Funnily enough, I hope to help Clyde because he's still a friend and I just want to let him see things differently. I'm sure there's bound to be another post somewhere down the track where I'll mention Clyde again.


If the names Clyde & Philo seem a bit weird, my best advice would be to refer to the Clint Eastwood movies: Any Which Way But Loose & Any Which Way You Can.
Clyde is pretty much a hairy orangutan and Philo is his owner. Nuff said ;) 

Anger Management

For as long as I can remember, all those around me have told me that "patience is a virtue". Hate to break it to everyone, but it's not one of my virtues. 
Back at school and uni, I was always the quiet and well behaved student. Educators,  I must admit, adored me. Some would misinterpret that and call me "the teacher's pet". Call it what you want, but I know who I was back then. Some students would tease me while others would pick on me. One girl I clearly remember, let's call her The Crow, had some real beef with me back in the fifth grade. She hung around with two girls, Fat Ass and The Giant. At first, we all got along and for some unknown reason, The Crow stopped talking to me. When I confronted her, her response was bluntly "You know too much, the teachers love you, and you're too smart". What sort of ruddy excuse is that? Anyway, this carried on well into the sixth grade to the extent that The Giant & I got into a bit of a scuffle. We got over it eventually towards the end of the scholastic year and we all buried the hatchet. To this day, none of those who are close to me know about that issue. I've kept it buried deep and this is the first time I publicly speak about it.
About 4 or 5 years down the track, Fat Ass and The Giant got into serious issues and I stood by The Giant. True that we both fought years back, but I wasn't going to let anyone, especially a fake bitch like Fat Ass hurt her. Don't ask me why, but something inside me told me that I'd always be close with The Giant. Fast forward another 3 years, and all hell broke loose between The Crow and The Giant. I'm not one to laugh at others' misfortunes, but it was sweet seeing The Crow getting a taste of her own medicine - or should I say eating crow? 14 years on, one of the few friends The Giant has is me and I'm proud to have her as my best friend because true friends overcome their problems and bury them deep in the past where they belong.
This was just a little insight into what high school and uni were like for me. To this day, my parents don't know. I doubt they even suspected anything was wrong. I just stuck to my guns and did what I did best - bottled up everything.
Almost 10 years later and I still haven't learnt my lesson. I've had to deal with everything from botched relationships to the death of a sibling. Even when my sister passed away, I don't think anyone in my family saw me cry, but I did, and still do. I tend to get emotional when pressed about it and when I see how much it's affected my parents, but I've never lost my cool or shown anyone just how much her passing has left a mark on me.
I suppose that over the years, everything has just been built up inside me and still is. I thought that martial arts would help me vent and release all that negativity inside, but so far, it just hasn't worked. My facebook friends tend to complain about my status updates saying that they're quite violent at times and express anger. That may be true, but it's a little hard to open up about these issues to others especially when the only person you trust is yourself. An ex once laughed at me when I told him that I had a dream where I was fighting a group of people. All he said was: "Don't you think you should talk to a professional about it?". To answer his question simply and bluntly - no. I know what brings on the dreams and shitty moods. That's why I've taken to blogging. Maybe getting some things off my chest for the entire world to see is exactly what I need.

An Introduction to Me

Some people have always said that I've always been good at expressing myself. Others, on the other hand, simply believe I have too much anger and negative energy that I should release. I'll be honest with you, I've never been one to keep secrets, but I've never been one to hang my dirty laundry out for all to see. I've always been friendly towards others and very forgiving for any wrongdoings anyone has inflicted on me. Don't get wrong, I'm no Virgin Mary - if you bite, I'll bite back twice as hard and big. Simple as that. I'm a strong believer in Karma and I firmly believe that if anyone hurts me, then I have every right to hurt them back. 

Some people would call me a big softy, or as one of my close male friends would call me, a marshmallow (I'll be sure to mention him in future posts). Yes, I admit to having a soft side, then again, who doesn't have one? But, (always a "but" with me...one "T" people) I'm not someone you can walk all over. For those who know me, I'm a loud, cheerful individual. This, in the past, has caused a fair bit of conflict with some, and brought on fits of laughter for others. 

Now, I don't want to give people the wrong impression from my first post. I'm not a stuck up bitch, but I'll let the rest of you make up your mind in that respect. Gradually, I'll give everyone a glimpse of my life, beliefs, and the causes for which I fight endlessly. Hopefully, I'll be able to introduce you all to me and those who have affected my life.